:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
