During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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