I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize