hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
