I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
smell my finger.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
