We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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