i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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