idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
