I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
