I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
