Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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