Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
