he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
