i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
