we're blogging at a bar
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize