yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I will pee on everything he values.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Randomize
