Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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