it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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