Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
