we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she told me i tasted like america
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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