i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
