How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize