soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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