plz talk dirty to me
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
