Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i think im in europe. pls send help
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize