I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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