It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
