Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
