WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
