She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
