What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
