your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize