Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Congratulations! We have a period
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize