Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
