He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
