Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she peed on how many people?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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