how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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