the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
