just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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