You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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