5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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