i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
