quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize