Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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