is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
