i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
