Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
