They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
