so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
