its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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