I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Randomize
