she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
