We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
