Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
