why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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