Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
