Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
