How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
