i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
