eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize