He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
only you would photoshop your dick
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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