so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
